There are always interesting things to know about Turin before making it over here, even only to soften your landing, culturally speaking. Whether Turin is your 1st Italian destination or your 20th, most things will be newer to you than you had expected. Naturally, this applies to native Italians too because as you may already know: Italy is a tiny and very diverse boot made up of 20 very distinct regions.
During our cross cultural workshops and relocation sessions, we always explain how the concept of one whole monocultural Italy has never existed. Thus the lack of a national sense in favor of the more common 'campanilismo' or affectionate attachment to our own little village church belltower.
Words and their origins always give us nice insights on the culture of the language they belong to and campanile is the church belltower where the bell rings every 15 minutes to mark the time and remind us where we are in our day. Yet, paraphrasing Kant, time and space are both universal and subjective and especially time is a very fluid dimension here in the boot.
Unlike what you see represented by most Non-Italian tv and cinema productions, and even if you have already visited other more touristy Italian places, once you are in Turin, you'll soon find out for yourself how what easily works out in Rome and Sicily doesn't necessarily work up in Northern Italy, especially here in the Northwest.
Following Kant from his Enlightment century and his categorical imperatives, not surprisingly we end up in Turin - THE 18th century Italian city par excellence, aka the Phildelphia of Italy. In fact, not only time and space are definitely different dimensions here, but our local climate is set on the continental range too! And people are typically on time especially for professional purposes.
We need to clarify that generally speaking, Italy is a country very much attached to her traditions, customs and values, and conversely, very resistant to change despite the inevitable technological surge. To these days, Italians have a very clear concept of the distinction between personal and professional relationships.
The whole country is based on circles of people, networks carefully woven since their earliest days made up of people Italians can trust opposed to strangers they don't know anything about and thus, they try to avoid. In the immediate circle you'll always find the family - the Italian top social safety net together with very few long time best friends. Then, you'll find other gradual circles of people expanding away like the waves of the water when we throw a stone into a pond: new friends, friends of friends and family friends. Ultimately, there are colleagues and professional interactions.
Time and space in Italy reflect this social architecture too.
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| Alpine apiary from the Cuneo area in Piedmont |
Life priorities and social behaviors are generally the same all over the boot but in terms of time, up in Northern Italy, people are on time with a 5 minute forgiving margin to express our gracious leniency. ... because here we understand that an emergency can have come up at the last minute, that you might not have found a parking spot right away or that there was traffic on your way over to your appointment.
This will especially be true when dealing with the professional circle and the individuals carrying an important professional title that unconsciously some fear of the authority in all Italians. Yet, if worse comes to worse, everyone in the boot is on whatsapp and uses it to readily communicate anything major. Keep in mind that in Italy, whatsapp messages have a legal value, are checked frequently and, following Kant's philosophy, everyone 'kinda expects' you to use them in the same way: to notify you are late but coming or any other important information.
With the newly arrived and particularly with Non-Italians, people take for granted you might be late, given you are not familiar with your whereabouts yet. However, as a rule of the thumb, whatever formal appointment you have all over Northern Italy and especially in Turin, be on time, not 10 minutes earlier (ok, maybe 2), (definitely) not later, on time.
And if you are expecting people over, be it contractors, professionals of any title (eg. architect) or trade (eg. plummer), their punctuality will usually be within those canonic 5 minutes after the time you guys had agreed on. This is because arriving earlier in Italy is rude (unless expressly notified) and this is even worse in informal situations, with friends and relatives.
Let's not forget that the words amico and amica - friend - carry a much deeper meaning in Italian. Believe it or not, making real friends in Italy isn't an easy process nor should it be because, like yoga, the journey you undergo to make it to the inner circle of your personal connections (and their networks!) is symbolic of the value you attribute to those people. An Italian friend is like a plant, meeting them is the seed that only over time, care and mindfulness grows into a majestic giant sequoia and lasts forever.
In Italian culture, a friend isn't just a casual person you happen to meet once but rather a golden pebble you'll cherish for most of your life. A general person you happen to meet on the train is not your 'friend' for Italian standards because friend is a title that allows that person to your most intimate life sphere: somebody you can count on and rely on in any situation, without being judged.
Observing how personal relationships are built and fostered along the years in Italy, you'll see how unconditional trust and understanding, empathy and humanity are the basic elements that nourish the soil of the whole Italian social garden.
Just like in many Latin and Mediterranean cultures, expected mutual reciprocity is another important concept that derives by respect, trust and empathy. To all Italians, their friends are the family they chose and as such, they check on them regularly, allow them to vent keeping out any judgement or preconception, offer help even when non openly verbally requested, and participate fully to their lives' events celebrating or crying together, with the certainty that when their time comes, they will be reciprocated.
This is one of the golden social rules that keeps Italy going, make it your mantra when picturing your life here, amici!
As we mentioned above, Italy is also a country with a very formal culture of politeness where professional titles still carry their weight and influence but their stiffness and restrictions has also created a parallel informal code to be followed within the inner circles of non-professionally related people.
Punctuality among friends is a lax idea similar to when you unbutton your pants after a big meal at home, and all over the boot, Non-Italians must come to terms with the consistent lateness of some of their Italian friends. Don't take it personally, they don't do it on purpose or to annoy you and in some cases there are different solutions.
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| Via Carlo Alberto is one of Turin's 3 luxury shopping streets |
Food and meals are usually the top issues for most Non-Italians whose etiquette is uncommonly rigid for Italian social standards. However, everything is pretty easy, let's see a couple of common scenarios:
1) Dinner party at somebody's home: God forbid anyone arrives early!! Amici, please, remember this golden rule!! You don't want to panic the host, and much less the cook, or worse the person who is doing most of the organization of receiving you!!
Always allow those '5 minutes of polite late' in case the hosts had an emergency they needed to tend to.
Don't worry about the pasta being overcooked (it will be tossed in the water as you walk through the door), or about the roast getting cold, everything will be cooked on time and ready to be served in due time, after properly welcoming you, please read: giving you a welcome drink with some munchies.
The antipasto or appetizer, the very first course of the long formal Italian menu was invented right to buffer the pasta or risotto waiting time.
And when you are the host and have Italians over... to be polite, they will never be on time, nor early, but usually 5 to 7 minutes late. Below Rome, expect even 10 or 15 minutes late! No whatsapp will be sent because 'that's how Italians do it'.
2) Lunch or dinner out where a reservation is needed.
In Turin, there are actually 2 rules: if the place is usually crowded, please, arrive 5 minutes early so the management knows you are there for your reservation. But ... your friends / guests might arrive on time-ish or with those customary 5 minutes late. In case, you can always warn them to be early or that you will arrive early for them. Yet, don't be annoyed by the usual suspects who'll arrive late and rather see it as a form of respect.
If you invite some of your (new) Italian friends out to lunch or dinner to a regular place, just arrive on time as being early might not allow you to your table. At the same time, nobody will pressure you and your friends to leave the table to other customers but if you are lingering over the closing time, and yours is the only table left, please, have pity on the workers, pay, leave so they can clean and go home too.
3) In dealing with those people who are always late, we recommend you simply give them an earlier time, expecting them to arrive late for their inner clock and on time, for yours.
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| Via Lagrange aka Turin's sedond luxury shopping street |
See, in Italy, time isn't money and when Italians eat out they pay for the luxury of sitting down and being tended to for as long as they care.
Italians rarely complain about slow service because allowing extra time between serving the courses is one of the ingredients of a good meal out: nobody is pressed by the clock. Time in Italy is a luxury available to all those who can have it.
And also Italians don't appreciate being rushed (especially at the table), nor being constricted by a schedule because they feel under pressure like at work. And because in Northern Italy, everyone is already on time in all formal and professional settings, in their personal time, people just want to enjoy themselves and forget about the passing of the time.
So, be prepared, in Turin and Northern Italy, doing business, Italians are on time, never early though, but in any informal situation, you'll virtually never deal with early guests and you certainly don't want to arrive early yourselves.
Whenever you are in doubt, we recommend you always ask your friends if it is ok. Naturally, by politeness, they will always welcome you with a smile but having read this, you'll know better!
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| Turin's Roman Lanes |
To sum it up, in Italy, among friends, there is no shame nor judgement and this intimate circle will allow you to network and expand your circles. In these informal circles, always allow 5 minutes of politeness late when invited or hosting.
Vice versa, in Turin and Northern Italy (Florence upwards), all professional circles will be punctual and very formal. Be early only if told so, because in Italy, bing early doesn't look as good as being on time.
Yes, do it each time nobody will be annoyed.
Email Lucia: turinepi@gmail.com
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